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Meant To Be..?

In life, we meet people who we believe we could spend forever with. Whether it’s just a relationship, friendship or even a stranger we just met.

     In the variety of relationships, I’ve had before I always believed that my past partners, potential love interests and former friends were “meant to be”. It’s funny thinking about it because I was so caught up on the idea of love and attaching others to my future; I ignored the red flags and didn’t pay attention to what these situations were teaching me.  So, I repeated similar lessons several times.

I always considered being “meant to be” meant forever. I believed that if a person and I have a falling out then it was never meant to happen, but it’s quite the opposite. Whatever path we choose to travel down in life, whatever habits we choose to take on, people and things we choose to tolerate (or not); all brings us the people who are on a similar road as well. How much we choose to heal from our past traumas or how much we continue to hurt in certain areas of our life determines that as well. We can attract people who are hurting, people who are running from themselves, people who are still working on their healing, people who are healed, etc. Depending on how much we progress on our journey.

We evolve in so many ways and so many times, how could we believe that everyone is meant for us, forever? Being “meant to be” doesn’t have to equal forever. “Meant to be” could be equal to growth. Maybe the person or people you were involved with were meant to help you grow or you help them level up. “Meant to be” can equal wisdom, a reminder on what to do next time. “Meant to be” could also equal a while or for the moment.

     We see quotes on social media that go along the lines of, ‘if something ends then it was never meant for us’. Just because the ending wasn’t pretty, you didn’t end up as lifelong partners or your friendship didn’t last doesn’t mean that these connections weren’t meant for you. It may have been meant for your expansion, your healing, etc.

Sometimes we become so attached to a person or the idea of them and the life we could possibly have together. We forget about the long life we have with ourselves. I’m someone who can have unhealthy attachments to people and someone who creates this fantasy on how everything should be. I hold on deeply, to the idea of someone and I tend to cover up who they show themselves as. It’s not only unfair to them, but to myself as well. Once we stop our attachments and imagining how others should be and more of what they are, life can really begin. Looking at moments that are presented exactly as they are and not so much what should’ve happened and what could happen.

The people we come across are in fact meant for us. Even if it’s just for a good time that doesn’t last long. Our problem comes from when we obsess over that good time and the people we had it with. We think in terms of “long time” and “forever” and get disappointed down the line when we find out that, that person doesn’t exactly want what we want, or circumstances change. Once we learn to accept that no one really owes us a “forever”, a future, or even a  text back. We can eventually accept and change our mindset-

sometimes a good or bad time is just that and that’s just fine.

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